Orange Tangled Fish

Im supposed to be
Balanced
after all
I am libra
but the scales
uneven like 
The rights 
Of all my wrongs
Stable
where
Opposites of me
All of my friends 
married 
but somehow
 when I think 
wedding
I think vortex
a force of suction pulling you in 
to the roots of where this sanction was rooted
and ive been fighting my whole life to be uprooted from 
This route
 I keep finding
Myself
on
But im rooting for myself 
And women.
Mostly of whom 
see
Me
as threatening. 
but do not worry 
i'm no probable trouble
you can have him
Take them all
I reel myself up through
black sheets
and make certain im 
Thrown back out at sea
 by morning.
Wind and water 
are the only 
elements 
that can uproot a tree. 
That is why I moved 
here
I'm a woman, yes
I have needs, yes
indeed
but once its over
 just throw me back at sea.
 I know this lifestyle 
is ugly
but I cannot breathe 
with a hook in my mouth
I breathe best 
under water
even if the salt stings 
my wounds
Or if I sink
From being under 
Too long
Take your fishing pull elsewhere
I only bite when i'm hungry
its not that im shallow
its just that if you go
 too deep
im afraid of what 
might unravel
I think i'm detached
 but in tune
after all
i'm the catch of the day
your dinner at night
and your mourn 
in the morning.

This poem was written in 2013. I remembered the title but didn't remember what it was about. I illustrated it recently based on my memory of the poem's title. I have been writing my memoir and was remembering living with my sister a few years before we got cancer. I used to write poems and illustrate them. Sometimes, I would give them to my sister, Margie to sell in her Etsy Shop which unfortunately died with her. I never saved all of the poems or the illustrations but it was something I enjoyed doing. Having a digital space that can be a hub for my endeavors is something I am excited about. I thought I would begin with this poem since its' illustration is already listed in the shop.